Seriously?

This is going to sound egotistical and I wear I don't mean it to. I swears!

I find that in every one's life there's going to be that one life altering heartbreak. Maybe the first heartbreak, maybe just the worst.. there's always one that sticks with a person, or changes them. I'm 19 and I've apparently been that heartbreak to five people. And really, I hate it. I hate being that girl who is apparently causing such "terrible, horrible, life altering devastation". I don't mean to cause that kind of hurt to anyone. Yes, yes, I realize how totally stupid this sounds, but bear with me. XD I just don't like being the center of things like that. It's happened with relationships, it's happened with people I didn't even have a relationship with. It's a little insane. Maybe the people I know are just incredibly dramatic. It's happened again quite recently and I'm baffled at how much it's effecting this person. As if all of the sudden life just isn't the same anymore for him. XD And I know I shouldn't even chuckle, but it boggles my mind. It somewhat humors me, but moreso bothers me. I don't like that this happens and I especially hate how they get all "woe is me" and make me feel like I'm some trecherous villain. I'm not perfect, but give me a freekin break. I just.. I don't get it. I'm only a single person and I can't understand how I can leave such a mark on a person. In some cases it's ended well and I'm even really good friends with one of them still, but others.. gah. Once case, said doom and gloom happened almost four years ago and he's still somehow hung up on me. And it as if he can only love me or hate me. So he's either, "Oh Shayla, oh Shayla. You are fantastic yaaaaay" or "YOU HURT ME FOREVER AND I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME".


I wish that was a dramatic version of it.


I dunno, people. Maybe it doesn't really make sense but I had to vent that. XD