I'm Still Alive. Well. Kinda.

Sorry for the lack of updates.

School's been keeping me busy. Oh, and I'm sick.. again. :/ It's been a brutal four days. And I can't even bring myself to miss any school. x___x It's going to kill me. Monday was the worst of them so far. My head was on freekin' fire, but the rest of my body wsa ice cold. I was shaking and chattering in class.. but I can't miss classes. D: They don't accept any late assignments under any circumstances and I love my GPA.. Man, I am a wreck. But anywho. After feeling so cold, I guess my entire body decided to catch on fire so I spent much of my evening all half sleeping and delirious in bed.

And the next day I woke up with the temperature of a dead person. I wasn't feverish, just creepy cold and clammy. Dad was scared of me. I was a little scared of me. : P I felt less miserable and sickly.. just.. dead. Which can't be much better, but I liked not FEELING cold. No shaking and shivering. Yay.

And today. Well. Now I have this fucking cough that I hate so much. It's one of those dry, loud, painful as fuck coughs that I seem to be graced with frequently. I'm feeling less shitty than I did this morning, but still pretty shitty overall. This morning I just felt.. heck, not a lot. I woke up and I was kind of a shell of myself I just trudged around and did my usual morning routine, but Dad said it was very eerie. He walked passed the bathroom was I was straightning my hair, and everything I did was really slow and I was just kinda staring blankly ahead.

Creepy.

But yeah, aside from dying a little.. I guess I'm okay? I'm not sure. I'm feeling really lonely again these days. I have the company of my new friends from school but it doesn't come close to filling the gap that's left from the people I love and adore whom I rarely see anymore. :/I knew things would change.. but I didn't think it would end up like this. Everyone has their own life and I understand that, it just brings me down a little. I have so little time to spare for things these days, and even when I got the time, I sometimes wonder where everyone is. :/ And it does sting a little when I see friends setting aside time for other people, but not for me. Selfish? A little. I know. :(

Ah well. I love em' and they know it and when we got time, we got time. It's just a change.