Vanity, They Name Is..

Prepare for intense amounts of whining. You have been warned. :P

Today's been one of those days. Most of the women I know would probably understand well. Ya know, one of those days where you just feel so down on yourself. Actually, I'm sure guys are the same way sometimes. But anyways.

With all my newfound attempts to eat better and get my ass out to exercise.. I've been feeling really self concious. I know I'm not even close to fat, but I still find myself so unhappy with my weight and my appearance. I've always had some self esteem issues, which I'm assuming is pretty normal for any teen, right? Wishing I was thinner, had nicer skin, nicer hair.. blah, blah, etc. It's just such a downer. It gets me feeling so low that I'm absolutely not some picture perfect model. And the funny thing is, I know I don't want to be some plastic bimbo, either. Raarrgghh. The people who matter to me love me for who I am, just how I am, so why do I feel like I have something to prove? I really don't care what people I don't know have to say about me.. so am I just out to make myself happy? Then why do I feel I have to strive for this "perfect" image?

I guess I could easily blame the media, which does make sense. All they do is push so-called perfection. Already gorgeous stars get branded as fat when they're not disturbingly thin.. it's disgusting. I won't lie, I cringe everytime I see models in ads. I guess I have pretty thin skinned in that aspect.

And at this point I'm kinda rambling. I'm tired. :P

In closing: self esteem has failed me today.