Okay, So I'm A Chicken.

Initiate.

I don't do it. I realized today that I am way too chicken to ever initiate anything. And when I say this, I primarily mean with other people. I realized this today at work when my friend Michelle happily invited a co-worker we just met to a pub we're going to tomorrow night. Michelle is so upbeat and happy to include people into things. She loves to meet and greet new people, and ask them if they want to join in on any group activities we may have planned. That about sums up how Michelle and I are friends to this day. I met her through my work ( we both work in Entertainment ) and she was the one who was to kinda show me how things worked at the store. She didn't hesistate to approach me, she was open, friendly and didn't take long to invite me to go hang out and things like that.

Me? I am nothing like that. As I said, I'm not the "initiator" type. I don't really talk to people unless they're introduced to me first, or they're the one's to approach me. I wouldn't ask a person to hang out unless they were someone close to me like, well, Michelle. I guess that would also explain why I've only had like.. 2 boyfriends at the age of 18. I like to think it's because I have interest in a very few percentage of people and would rather not hop into a "relationship" with every second person.. okay, well that's totally true, but! I guess it could also be because I like to stay inside my own little box. There is no way in hell I would ever, ever, EVER have the courage to ask anybody out. Ever. Ever. Okay, you get the point. But seriously, never. I guess that's what one of my major flaws.

I think it's one of those flaws that doesn't exactly do harm, but it holds me back and hinders life in general. For example, a friend of mine on Steam was the first person to really initiate any sort of communications. He invited me to games and such, which is way more than I was doing.. lmao. Through him inviting me to games, we got to talk, and thus, we're friends now and he's turned into someone that absolutely makes my day. And here's the kicker! He was close to removing me from his friends list on Steam before I finally got the nerve to just join a game.

So I suppose it's all a little eye opener for me to just come out of my shell and get over this notion that people are going to hate me and just be myself, and be sociable.. or try. Try is the keyword!