Squirrels: The Highest Form Of Life.

In the last few days I've had a friend make a few comments. He seems deeply concerned that I tend to be full of foolishness and constantly ranting about my problems with.. with almost everything. He seems to have a problem with the fact that I'm rarely serious and he can't see any possible excuse for this. I guess I could answer.. um.. well you see, I'm a teenage girl and I don't see a reason for too many things to be a heavy burden.. but instead, I've decided to embrace the wisdom of this concern and tackle something serious. So, today we'll discuss life, karma, reincarnation, the weather in Calgary and how unfortunately.. it all comes back to squirrels. Yes, squirrels.

It's a generally held belief that human beings are the highest, wisest, most intelligent form of life. We think this despite of the invention of men's speedos, Kanye West "Shutter Shades", credit card debt and our constant willingness to date the wrong people if they have a really awesome cable TV package. But sometimes being a human is not all that great. For instance, we want things. A lot of things. Generally, I think that what we want is pretty resonable. Parking downtown for less that $12 per minute, chocolate not to be fattening, or.. for those living in Calgary at the moment, for it to not be -200 C and snowing in May. We want to be able to understand what's going through the mind of that one certain person, and to be able to stop ourselves from feelings things we generally wish we didn't feel.

Okay, okay.. maybe not all of us want that. But the point is, we often don't get what we want.

I think that if you live life well as a human there can be no greater reward than getting to come back as what is really the highest form of life; a squirrel. Specifically the cute little brown squirrel that rules over my backyard. As I sit inside on nice days, specifically on the days I was violently ill and quarantined to my room, the little brown squirrel was stretched out on the fence, warming his naked tummy in the afternoon sun. On other days, I'll be found rushing around to finish some sort of task, probably at work about to pull my hair out over a customer so retarded that I have come to believe that Darwin has failed me.. and while all this tragedy is happening, the little brown squirrel will happily rape and pillage my bird feeders and flower beds, then spend the evening romping and frolicking in the treetops.

I can't recall the last time I romped or frolicked, let alone warmed my naked anything. I will, however, probably pay a large bill to have said treetops trimmed.

So, being a squirrel is very good. Being human, is, well, not quite so good. Unless , ya know, we accept that we don't always get what we want. Which is what I totally hope for. Particularily for the dummy who wanted me to be serious.